I have been driving around for more than a year with and ever creeping crack in my windshield. I promised my daughter that I would get it fixed soon. While sitting at a stop light, a man ran up to my car and handed me a card that said "Economy Windshield and Glass". I would prefer it to say "cheap" so I called the number but he must be out of business. The internet gave me three locations near my house for windshield replacement.
I hate calling for quotes and anything like that. So I call the phone number that shows the bubble locating the shop about a mile from my house. Drive in, twenty minutes and I am out with an as promised new windshield. But noooooooo! The overly polite fragile lady starts in with the questions.
Me: "Yes, I am looking to replace my windshield; it is for a 1998 Honda CRV. Can you help me with a quote?
Fragile: Certainly sir, This is All-American Auto Glass Co. How can I help you?
Me: Yeh ah, I need a windshield.
Fragile: Let me get some information and I will help you with that.
With my opening statement, I gave her everything I need to get a price and availability on a windshield so she needs to use her opposable thumb and punch in the data and give me a quote. but Nada.
Fragile: Sir, what is your zip code?
I am thinking of all the questions she might ask me (penis size, do I have a dog?) and zip code was not one of them. Since this is a complete bullshit question, I always answer 99898 to the zip code question. This is the zip code for Rat Island in the Alaskan Archipelago, about 1000 miles west of Anchorage.
Fragile: Thank you sir! Now, how can I help you. Did you say you need glass for your automobile or trailer? We have a full line of glass for cars, trucks and trailers.
Me: Windshield for a Honda CRV, 1998.
I tried mixing up the information. Maybe if she hears it in a different order, her marbles will fall into the holes.
Fragile: Ok, just a few more questions? (Remember she has asked me how she can help me twice already. I am beginning to think she cannot.) Is this the front windshield?
No, it is the one up your ass. Three days later I am still thinking about this question. I never thought of any other glass on the car being a windshield unless I am someone who drives backwards all the time.
Me: Yes!!
Fragile: OK, is this an insurance claim?
Me: No!
Fragile: So, you are going to pay for it yourself?
I hope that was a rhetorical question because I only have a few answers left to give before I hang up so I did not answer.
Fragile: Ok, thank you! What is the year and model of the car, truck or trailer?
Me: 1998 Honda, CRV it is green with dents all over it and a crack in the windshield.
Fragile: Oh, that is too bad, is the crack larger than six inches?
Me: Oh Yes. (about the size of the one in your head)
Fragile: What is you name and insurance company?
Now, for the most irritation question I ever get from anyone!
Fragile: Would you prefer to be called Matt or Matthew?
You can call me Candy Ass Libby if you will just give me a freakin price.
Fragile: Ok, the computer is a little slow today, please be patient. Ok here it comes. (Now remember I called the Cocoa, Fl. phone number) Oh, I see you are in Alaska, our nearest associate is in Nome, Alaska. That is 1186 miles from your location. They can do it on Monday morning. Would you like me to make you an appointment?
Me: I do not think I can make it Monday. (There are no bridges or cars on Rat Island)
Fragile: Well, for $39.95 additional charge we can fix it at your home.
I was so tempted to say Ok and let that order go through but I did not.
Me: Ok, so how much will it cost for a windshield for a 1998 Honda CRV? (fourth time I asked this question)
Let me see what the computer says, OK, that will be $229 and 73 cents, tax will be extra. Did you know a front windshield is part of the overall safety plan for your car?(rhetorical I hope)
Me: I do not have $229.73 so I will have to wait a paycheck or two.
Well, sir, I will keep this in computer and when you call back, ask for discounts and they price may be lower.
Me: Thank you!
I may be driving around with the cracked windshield for a little while longer.
I hate calling for quotes and anything like that. So I call the phone number that shows the bubble locating the shop about a mile from my house. Drive in, twenty minutes and I am out with an as promised new windshield. But noooooooo! The overly polite fragile lady starts in with the questions.
Me: "Yes, I am looking to replace my windshield; it is for a 1998 Honda CRV. Can you help me with a quote?
Fragile: Certainly sir, This is All-American Auto Glass Co. How can I help you?
Me: Yeh ah, I need a windshield.
Fragile: Let me get some information and I will help you with that.
With my opening statement, I gave her everything I need to get a price and availability on a windshield so she needs to use her opposable thumb and punch in the data and give me a quote. but Nada.
Fragile: Sir, what is your zip code?
I am thinking of all the questions she might ask me (penis size, do I have a dog?) and zip code was not one of them. Since this is a complete bullshit question, I always answer 99898 to the zip code question. This is the zip code for Rat Island in the Alaskan Archipelago, about 1000 miles west of Anchorage.
Fragile: Thank you sir! Now, how can I help you. Did you say you need glass for your automobile or trailer? We have a full line of glass for cars, trucks and trailers.
Me: Windshield for a Honda CRV, 1998.
I tried mixing up the information. Maybe if she hears it in a different order, her marbles will fall into the holes.
Fragile: Ok, just a few more questions? (Remember she has asked me how she can help me twice already. I am beginning to think she cannot.) Is this the front windshield?
No, it is the one up your ass. Three days later I am still thinking about this question. I never thought of any other glass on the car being a windshield unless I am someone who drives backwards all the time.
Me: Yes!!
Fragile: OK, is this an insurance claim?
Me: No!
Fragile: So, you are going to pay for it yourself?
I hope that was a rhetorical question because I only have a few answers left to give before I hang up so I did not answer.
Fragile: Ok, thank you! What is the year and model of the car, truck or trailer?
Me: 1998 Honda, CRV it is green with dents all over it and a crack in the windshield.
Fragile: Oh, that is too bad, is the crack larger than six inches?
Me: Oh Yes. (about the size of the one in your head)
Fragile: What is you name and insurance company?
Now, for the most irritation question I ever get from anyone!
Fragile: Would you prefer to be called Matt or Matthew?
You can call me Candy Ass Libby if you will just give me a freakin price.
Fragile: Ok, the computer is a little slow today, please be patient. Ok here it comes. (Now remember I called the Cocoa, Fl. phone number) Oh, I see you are in Alaska, our nearest associate is in Nome, Alaska. That is 1186 miles from your location. They can do it on Monday morning. Would you like me to make you an appointment?
Me: I do not think I can make it Monday. (There are no bridges or cars on Rat Island)
Fragile: Well, for $39.95 additional charge we can fix it at your home.
I was so tempted to say Ok and let that order go through but I did not.
Me: Ok, so how much will it cost for a windshield for a 1998 Honda CRV? (fourth time I asked this question)
Let me see what the computer says, OK, that will be $229 and 73 cents, tax will be extra. Did you know a front windshield is part of the overall safety plan for your car?(rhetorical I hope)
Me: I do not have $229.73 so I will have to wait a paycheck or two.
Well, sir, I will keep this in computer and when you call back, ask for discounts and they price may be lower.
Me: Thank you!
I may be driving around with the cracked windshield for a little while longer.
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