John Daly has a chat with Tiger Woods about his stupidity with the ladies.
A fat guy walks up to the doorman at a six star hotel.
Daly: John Daly here to see The Tiger.
Doorman: I am sorry sir, Mr Woods is not seeing anyone currently.
Daly: What is this (holding up a can of beer and a golf club) my wimpy man, and this?
Doorman: I would venture to say it was a beer, a cheap one at that and what appears to be a one iron.
Daly: Do I look like I am going to walk all the way back to my cheap hotel without seeing The Tiger? Call him, These days, he will see anyone who can out drive him.
Doorman: Mr. Woods, A Mr. Daly his here to see you, Yes, he is portly and carrying a beer. He is also carrying a One Iron. Yes sir, Not even God can hit a One Iron. Yes sir.
Mr. Daly, Mr. Woods says you can come up but leave the cheap ass beer.
Once upstairs,
Daly: Tigger, nice to see you man. That dent on your head looks like an old Five wood I used to have. Do you have a beer?
Tiger: John, you fat shit what are you doing here, This is Saturday, I thought you missed the cut and would be selling autographs at Torey Pines by now?
Daly: My last shot bounced of a centenarian's head and ended up three inches from the cup. Because the irony hit me peckish, I damn near yanked the putt left. Made the cut by one stroke.
John had a stern look on his face:
Daly: Tiger, We need to talk of a serious nature. The Boys are not happy. I agree your personal life is your business but this thing with all your bitches calling your house on your ONLY cell phone and and you texting them back,
Tiger: Yeh, it has taken the wind out of my sails, but not the peck out of my pecker. It took me half an hour and about two hundred bucks to get this dancer back here to my room. They are usually waiting downstairs when I get off the court. I mean course.
Daly: Well, the Shark and Arnie sent me, they reviewed your case with the Council of Players and I am sorry to bring you this bad news but we are pulling your Player's Card. The entire case was reviewed by Supreme Player Borg himself and he reduced it to a two year suspension. He felt you just did not have the correct guidance. The PALs ( Players at Large) just think you are stupid.
Tiger with his head hanging low, Two years!
Daly: Two years will go by fast, hell, I tanked my career and made a comeback and tanked it again in two years. Now I am selling golf balls for Wilson for shit sake.
Tiger: John, I appreciate you coming all the way across the course to tell me this in person. That means something to me. Is there a book to help me through this two years suspension.
Daly: Yep, two books are recommended by The Boys and the Council of Players. Anything from the Lonesome Dove series and "How to be a Player for Morons" by William Clinton Jr.
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