How to tell If Your Children are hiding something

Kids  are always hiding something, what are they hiding is the question.
1.     Five years old and younger
       You can tell they are hiding something because they still have cookie/cake crumbs on their mouth.
       They are also hiding their  hands.  They do not know they are rookies at this stuff and their older sister tried this same technique last  year.
2.    Around ten years old
       If they run away from home and stay down the street for  at least two hours, they are hiding something.
       If their eyes get bigger when you talk about the teachers at their school, they are hiding something.
       If they get home from school even a few minutes earlier than normal, they are hiding something.
3.    Around seventeen years old
        They are hiding something, PERIOD.   They are lying also and swearing every which way they are not.  It is semantics.  (with mouth open, eyes rolling, hands on hips) "No, I did not go out with Bobby last night ringing doorbells"  If all three of these things are not true at the exact same instant, this is a true statement.  He/She was out with Bobby last night but not ringing door bells.  Still a true statement.  He/she was not out last night.  Bobby was actually in the house having sex or drinking beer with son/ daughter or  both.  Still a true statement.  Bobby and he/she did not ring doorbell because they both never rang them together at the same house.  All true hormone induced psychotic bull shit statements.  The possible truth is he/she was out, maybe with bobby but since they call him Rob now it is not the same thing and are you kidding, ringing doorbells, most likely just hanging out telling lies to each other.

4.   Older than twenty
       Why they are telling me anything I do not know.   (guilt most likely) Even though I do care, I gave up and lost control of them a long time ago.  Now I just want to sleep, eat and die with some peace and quiet.