Tuesday, October 25, 2011

thousand oaks

Thousand Oaks, California only has about three hundred oak trees left standing.  There is a place Called Three Meadows and maybe there was a meadow in that area once but now it is just a bunch or goofy looking houses surrounded by houses.  At best it was a swamp and there is no way you can confuse a meadow with a swamp.  Apparently, these types of names of places are called Toponyms.  There are stupid toponyms, bawdy toponyms and just plain descriptive toponyms. 

What if it was a law that toponyms had to be truly descriptive of the area.  There would be developments called Big Dork Estates where everyone  looked like Beaker from the Muppets.  Three Meadows would still have to have three meadows.  Whore House Meadows, Colorado would still have houses.  French Lick, Indiana would still have salt licks for the animals and by God and Country the animals would still be licking them.  It would be a law.   Idiot Swamp would still be the name of the Washington DC area and they would not have to change a single building.

Thousand Oaks, California figured out that they were getting short of oak trees and they passed a law saying that if a developer wants to cut down an oak tree, five other oaks must be planted  and place a bond (money) with the city to insure the trees live to be grown up trees.  I wonder if they had to replace the squirrels and the starlings. 

I saw a sign saying  "You are now leaving Last Chance Metro".  Last chance for what?  Maybe I should have stopped in the town to see what all the commotion is about.  I mean, if it is my last chance, should I not know for what?  I noticed the town had a biker bar, a fancy McDonalds with slides and those plague perpetuation ball pits and a Pizza Factory with the letter "C" burned out.  It was pretty much a one hooker town and she would also have to have a daytime job.

I hear Thousand Oaks has real civic spirit and the Toponym is safe for now.  There is probably a Black Oak Blight that will kill them all off.

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