Verified

There is a nice feeling when one's theories are proven accurate.  Unfortunately for me most of my theories deal with the painful side of living.  I have theorized that the older one's age progresses, the dirtier the bottom half of the body gets.  I am living that theory.  While not revealing too much detail of my showering routine, I know that it is rare that I wash my feet.  I cannot safely or comfortably reach them while standing.  Toppling over in the shower will get me a one way visit to the rest home these days.

I made the statement "if an animal's excrement is as large or larger than mine, it will make a lousy pet".  With the equines in the yard and the canine beasts in the house, it is clear that once again, I am correct.  Sadly.  They eat more than I do and that is a trick and they shit more than I do and than is just disgusting.  How could I do this to myself.  Well, I did not, I only vaguely allowed it.  In fact, I guess that is why I vaguely remember saying "No". 

I also said that a women's butt looks smaller on a motorcycle.  I will have to just continue believing this is just an illusion because I am not going to approach a biker chick with a ruler and ask her if I can measure her butt while on and then off the bike.  I have avoided a pummeling for more than twenty years now, I am too old for that kind of verification and the superiority that I feel in have such a novel theory is wonderful.