I have a tooth on the right side of my mouth that acts like no other. When I eat pork, remnants get stuck around that tooth. No other kind of meat gets stuck there. If I am eating chicken, say wings, meat gets in there but it comes out with a flick of the tongue. Not pork, its molecular size seems to be perfect for the gap between the teeth. I can flick and suck all day long and that pork is staying where it seems most happy. It does not matter if it is chops, tenderloin, good ham, cheap ham or even the fused ham which I thought was masticated beyond recognition, some bit of that oinker gets down in that crevasse and will not easily come out.
My teeth have moved over the last few years which is disheartening anyway. I also have a tooth that turned sideways. About five years ago, I hit myself in the mouth with a crowbar. No, it was not an accident. The blow hit right on that tooth. It was fairly straight when I hit it. During that time period, I was also wearing a CPAP unit while I slept (continuous positive airway pressure) which is a combination of a Darth Vader mask and a NAZI jaw removal tool. This mouthpiece with an attitude caused my teeth to start moving is many directions. This is when the tooth started turning. My hitting it with a crowbar simple cut a hole in my lip and made the tooth loose. The continental drift was on and even though I stopped using the CPAP deal, the teeth kept moving. If the gap gets much bigger, the famed pork tooth will be no more. Broccoli, hamburger or even caraway seeds will get in between those teeth. What claim to fame is that?
Extracting the meat from that tooth can be a chore in itself. I will wear my tongue bloody and still not get at it. It requires a toothpick or a piece of floss. It is way in the back of my mouth and sometimes I just cannot get at it. I poke at it with a sharp object, I try the corner of a piece of paper and all I do is bleed. The fragment feels like the Loch Ness monster is stuck in there. The pressure on the neighboring teeth starts to build and with the sore tongue and the blood, well, I must get this thing out of my mouth. Once, I thought I got my hand stuck in my mouth while getting at the porcine morsel. Finally, during a meeting at work, the piece just came out with the nudge of my tongue. I yelled, "Yes" and everyone looked at me. I did not care. My teeth were free to float around and I was finally done with lunch. I retrieved the fiber that was stuck in my teeth. It was so small I could barely see it. It was insignificant. Damn you pork tooth.
My teeth have moved over the last few years which is disheartening anyway. I also have a tooth that turned sideways. About five years ago, I hit myself in the mouth with a crowbar. No, it was not an accident. The blow hit right on that tooth. It was fairly straight when I hit it. During that time period, I was also wearing a CPAP unit while I slept (continuous positive airway pressure) which is a combination of a Darth Vader mask and a NAZI jaw removal tool. This mouthpiece with an attitude caused my teeth to start moving is many directions. This is when the tooth started turning. My hitting it with a crowbar simple cut a hole in my lip and made the tooth loose. The continental drift was on and even though I stopped using the CPAP deal, the teeth kept moving. If the gap gets much bigger, the famed pork tooth will be no more. Broccoli, hamburger or even caraway seeds will get in between those teeth. What claim to fame is that?
Extracting the meat from that tooth can be a chore in itself. I will wear my tongue bloody and still not get at it. It requires a toothpick or a piece of floss. It is way in the back of my mouth and sometimes I just cannot get at it. I poke at it with a sharp object, I try the corner of a piece of paper and all I do is bleed. The fragment feels like the Loch Ness monster is stuck in there. The pressure on the neighboring teeth starts to build and with the sore tongue and the blood, well, I must get this thing out of my mouth. Once, I thought I got my hand stuck in my mouth while getting at the porcine morsel. Finally, during a meeting at work, the piece just came out with the nudge of my tongue. I yelled, "Yes" and everyone looked at me. I did not care. My teeth were free to float around and I was finally done with lunch. I retrieved the fiber that was stuck in my teeth. It was so small I could barely see it. It was insignificant. Damn you pork tooth.
Saying it like it is... How did I miss this one??
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