Holidays

"What ya doing for Labor Day?" he would say expectantly.
When I said "Nothing" sadness crept in on the corners of his mouth.  I could not tell if he was disappointed for me or if he felt he should invite me to his celebration.  I never plan much for vacations.  I never go anywhere, it is too much trouble.  I would not mind someone coming over if they bring some food and stuff.  I will cook it and serve it and clean it all up but being in charge of it, NO. 

Another question from office morons during the holidays is "Are you going to Anyuta's Holiday party?  What are you bringing; you are supposed to bring something."

"Well, she did not invite me specifically so if I go, I will most likely bring myself.  God always says I am a gift."

       "She is Jewish, it is a holiday party! Duh."

"Jewish people believe in God.  He invented the Jewish people I think.  Noah got his foreskin caught in door hinge while peeing off the ark. The Jewish state was born."   

       "Really?"

"Probably not"

There was a time when I was very uneasy at gathering of any kind.  I think I had low esteem issues.  Now I just do not give two hoots.  Although I am comfortable at gatherings where I know a few people, sometimes I still act like a wall flower at office gatherings.  I am still reasonably new at my present company and I do not know a lot of people so I hang out and hope someone talks to me.  Labor Day always bothered me because in a Catholic family, on a Catholic street and in a Catholic town, labor meant babies and that confuses me.  Also, celebrating work sounded rather communistic.  Most people can hardly wait for the week's end so why would they celebrate the part of the week they hate.  It is the same for the office Christmas party.  Why would you want to celebrate with people you are dodging all season long?  If bathrooms did not have stalls and doors, where the hell would we hide?

Holidays do bring friends and family together.  Some holidays are for the kids mostly.  Easter egg hunts are big in my extended families.  Children and young adults alike fight over money filled eggs found in trees and in holes.  I cannot even get my kids to pick up their socks but if I can convince them it is an Easter egg, I am golden.  We have film of adult children stealing from young children during an Easter egg hunt.  Jesus would be so proud.  At Thanksgiving, I usually cut the ham and/or turkey.  I have been waiting three hours for the food and then they want me to cut the meat.  I do cut it and I also eat a ton of it.  By the time they serve the creature, I have sampled the turkey, the ham, the dumblings, the Pirogis, the rolls and the beer. I am full and done with the celebration.  I head for a the prime sleeping spot on the couch.  The Organizer tries to get me to come to the table for the prayer.  I do stand up for the blessing but I plop right back down. 

I wish every holiday was a planned eating and drinking event.   I would be very happy for most holidays to come around.  For this next one, I will most likely mow the grass and maybe go fishing.