Ear Infection

Ear infections seemed quite common when I was a child.  I figure all the swimming in the Atlantic Ocean and the Banana River contributed to the ordeal.  I remember my cousin had lots of ear problems.   He always had cotton stuffed in his ears.  The big treatment for an ear ache was hot oil and boric Acid poured in your ear and then plug it up with the cotton balls.  When Star Trek II, The Wrath of Kahn movie came out and Kahn would place those worms in the ears, I always thought of the hot oil and boric acid.  Pretty much the same initial response as I remember.  There was always lots of screaming and trying to get away.  I think they used worms in The Beastmaster also.

Now I just heat up some neosporin and squirt it in the ear.  No problemo, no cotton, nolo contendre.   I hear people say, "my child has an ear ache, I took her to the emergency room".  "What in the hell did you do that for?, Do you have nothing else to do?  Are you trying to get sick?"  People do not talk to me much about hospitals any more.   In the emergency room they looked in the ear and exclaimed, "It is a little red, lets put some hot oil in there, plug it with cotton, give her some antibiotics, you know, to kill all the bacteria in her intestine and "take her to her regular doctor if she does not feel any better in a few days."  Are you freekin kidding me? 

I have an ear ache now I think because I use ear plugs to sleep.  What better way to get bacteria to grow in you ear than to stick some piece of foam in there and sleep with it.  Anyway, I will do the neosporin thing when I get home and I will not worry about it any more.  These ear plugs are color coded so you only push them in your ear so far.  The directions say, "WARNING - insert only to the green line".  I cannot see in my own ear so how will I know if it is in too far.  I guess jamming it in there with a pencil is not a good idea.  If I do insert too far will it disappear like a rectal thermometer can.  I was helping a veterinarian when I was a kid and I let go of the thermometer.  I did not know a horse's butt hole could suck in a thermometer.  "It almost got my arm", I told the vet.  "Where is the thermometer?" asked the Vet.  "How the hell do I know, where ever those things go in situations like that."  The Vet frowned and lifted the horses tail.  "There it is" he exclaimed as the thermometer came shooting out of that hole.  That thing could put an eye out, I thought. 

So, lets hope the ear plug or the cotton ball does not go in too far.  We do  not need things rattling around in there.   I like old fashion doctoring much better and it is almost free.