Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Maternity Leave

A lady in our office named Angora went on maternity leave for seven weeks to have a baby.  It has been a week since we heard about the birth yet received no detail.  We still have no details.  This got me thinking which usually means "Survey"

What is Angora most likely doing at this moment.

1.  sleeping
2.  Crying
3.  Changing diapers
4.  Smacking husband, crying
5.  Faked pregnancy (gaining 38 lbs was an illusion).  is sitting home laughing, drinking, trying to get pregnant.
6.  Standing and staring at the baby
7.  Wondering how a 7 pound baby can need a gallon of breast milk a day and fill up 8 diapers in four hours.

We assume everything is OK and the baby is "not an ugly baby".  This is a first baby and it will be the cutest and most wonderful of all children of all time.  For at least a week. Then, they will say things like, "How can something so cute make me so tired" and "Your turn!". 

Angora and Stepley are no longer just a married couple, they have a child and are almost parents.  You need at least two children to officially qualify for a parent.  They will start raising a little adult.  They will decide not to talk cute nonsense to the child, they will vow to never give this perfect child a soda.  They will do everything correctly until Grandma says, "Oh, doctors don't know, the kid is still hungry" or "your the mom, do what you think is right".

Angora will go to sleep tired for the next 17 years.  Really.

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