I was at Tony's Bar watching an awkward looking guy dancing with an average looking lady. Tony's place had about six epoxy top tables with a heavily varnished wooden bar and several different types of chairs. The cigarette smoke was thicker than the local drunks. Tube Snake Boogie was just finishing up and I heard Awkward say to Average,
Awkward: You look nice while you dance, I am sure that song was not made for dancing.
Average: What was it made for? How do I look while I am not dancing?
Well, It is not like I am going to take you home to screw ya.
What?
No, well I have standards, (short pause) I can do ya on a car or in the bushes. But you are not coming home with me.
The slap made a loud smack on his cheek and the guy sitting next to him just busted out laughing. Awkward did not seem surprised.
Average grabbed her drink and started to run off when she said,
Look dickhead, I am not some slut you can just dance with on the floor and then expect to dance with in the back of a car.
Wait, I think you got it all wrong. You also make me look better on the dance floor. Hell, all these bitches want me now. And not in the back of a car, you can not get any thrusting going in the back of a car. On the hood with the moon on my ass. It says it in the Bible "In the shadows is where all the naughty stuff is". You can keep you shirt on and I will do my best to keep the mosquitoes off ya.
You are fucked up.
Average was crying now and Awkward felt bad.
Hey, let me buy you one more drink and have one more dance to make it up to you. Then you can go home and cry.
Is that an apology?
I started talking to the bar tender about chicken fingers and boiled peanuts. After ordering another drink, I noticed Average was gone and Awkward was paying his tab with a handful of crumpled bills. I looked at him expecting to see a dejected soul going home alone. What I saw was a Player of the extraordinary kind. As I started my walk home, I did not see Awkward leaning on the hood of a car. He was in the bushes on an Average night..
Awkward: You look nice while you dance, I am sure that song was not made for dancing.
Average: What was it made for? How do I look while I am not dancing?
Well, It is not like I am going to take you home to screw ya.
What?
No, well I have standards, (short pause) I can do ya on a car or in the bushes. But you are not coming home with me.
The slap made a loud smack on his cheek and the guy sitting next to him just busted out laughing. Awkward did not seem surprised.
Average grabbed her drink and started to run off when she said,
Look dickhead, I am not some slut you can just dance with on the floor and then expect to dance with in the back of a car.
Wait, I think you got it all wrong. You also make me look better on the dance floor. Hell, all these bitches want me now. And not in the back of a car, you can not get any thrusting going in the back of a car. On the hood with the moon on my ass. It says it in the Bible "In the shadows is where all the naughty stuff is". You can keep you shirt on and I will do my best to keep the mosquitoes off ya.
You are fucked up.
Average was crying now and Awkward felt bad.
Hey, let me buy you one more drink and have one more dance to make it up to you. Then you can go home and cry.
Is that an apology?
I started talking to the bar tender about chicken fingers and boiled peanuts. After ordering another drink, I noticed Average was gone and Awkward was paying his tab with a handful of crumpled bills. I looked at him expecting to see a dejected soul going home alone. What I saw was a Player of the extraordinary kind. As I started my walk home, I did not see Awkward leaning on the hood of a car. He was in the bushes on an Average night..
is this a true story?
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