A famous lawyer was arrested for drunken driving over the week end. The statement he made to the police and the reporters sounds exactly like the story my alcoholic friends on spring break told the popos when they were caught collecting street signs from Ferdinando Beach.
Officer Martinez: How many drinks have you had?
Spring Breakers: Just two Swartzkoff, sir.
Officer Martinez: Not that it matters but what are you doing?
Spring Breakers: Just helping out a friend.
Officer Martinez: Are those street signs you got there?
Spring Breakers: Yep, our friend has lost his bearings and we did not have a map so I thought we would make him one.
Officer Martinez: You smell like alcohol and you are wobbling.
Spring Breakers: It is hard to walk straight while being so concerned for a lost friend.
Officer Martinez: And where is your friend, was than him that wandered off toward the beach?
Spring Breakers: He is a wombat.
Officer Martinez: Put your hands on the car and blow!
Spring Breakers: Don't taze me bro! I refuse the breath test but we will take a blood test. (knowing that they do not do that any more) Whoa! gloves, I thought you did not do blood test any more?
Officer Martinez: These gloves? They are not for blood tests.
This is almost word for word what the fancy lawyer said to the cops.
Hmmm.
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