Delvin, a friend of mine.
He loves big butts, not your Jennifer Lopez butt, no, "the have to turn sideways getting off the bus" butt. He is Pavlovian about "can't ride in cars with bucket seats" booty. He was arrested once for grabbing a handful of tush at the local Wally-world. It is a disorder of some kind I am quite sure. Anyway, he is also prone to exaggeration, I thought until he explained why his head was always turned out a little bit on his neck. You have to understand, Delvin is a little guy, five foot three, 125 pounds constipated.
Well, he said his neck has been crooked every since that day. Delvin and Regina broke up a while later. She never got over the death of Pancake and how was she going to explain the scars on her ass. It looked like a dentist X-ray on her butt. Delvin was sharp enough to take pictures of the cat, the coffee table and the booty. For a little guy, he had a huge bite. It did look like an x-ray on an elephant.
He loves big butts, not your Jennifer Lopez butt, no, "the have to turn sideways getting off the bus" butt. He is Pavlovian about "can't ride in cars with bucket seats" booty. He was arrested once for grabbing a handful of tush at the local Wally-world. It is a disorder of some kind I am quite sure. Anyway, he is also prone to exaggeration, I thought until he explained why his head was always turned out a little bit on his neck. You have to understand, Delvin is a little guy, five foot three, 125 pounds constipated.
He explains: I had this girlfriend, she was really fine and had this awesome abnormally huge butt. It was all muscle too. I think she invented the Thong because her underwear always had to be up her ass because that was the only way they would fit. One day while I was lying down on the couch minding my own business, she walked past me, well, that gorgeous thing was about an inch from my face and I decided to bite that booty. I grabbed them hips and opened my mouth and took a big bite. Well, it must have startled her because she let out a yell and stumbled back falling on me pinning me to the couch. This seemed to be real close to heaven until I realized she was too damn big to get her ass off my face. She could not get up. She was screamin and kicking around. I tried to push her off but my hands just disappeared in that butt. My elbows would sink into the couch when I pushed. I could not breath or even close my mouth. My jaw was hurting and I was almost out of air. I used my last breath to yell but the sound was absorbed by that big ole Christmas package. I remember gasping for air and waking up on the floor. The coffee table was broke, Pancake her 14 year old cat was dead and my neck hurt like a mofo. She said I got this super human mother strength, like a mother gets when her child is stuck under a car well, she said I just launched her across the room landing on the cat sleeping on the now crushed coffee table.
Well, he said his neck has been crooked every since that day. Delvin and Regina broke up a while later. She never got over the death of Pancake and how was she going to explain the scars on her ass. It looked like a dentist X-ray on her butt. Delvin was sharp enough to take pictures of the cat, the coffee table and the booty. For a little guy, he had a huge bite. It did look like an x-ray on an elephant.
No comments:
Post a Comment