Questions

I have been driving around for more than a year with and ever creeping crack in my windshield.  I promised my daughter that I would get it fixed soon.  While sitting at a stop light, a man ran up to my car and handed me a card that said "Economy Windshield and Glass".  I would prefer it to say "cheap" so I called the number but he must be out of business.  The internet gave me three locations near my house for windshield replacement. 

I hate calling for quotes and anything like that.  So I call the phone number that shows the bubble locating the shop about a mile from my house.  Drive in, twenty minutes and I am out with an as promised new windshield.  But noooooooo!  The overly polite fragile lady starts in with the questions.

Me:  "Yes, I am looking to replace my windshield; it is for a 1998 Honda CRV.  Can you help me with a quote?
Fragile:  Certainly sir, This is All-American Auto Glass Co.  How can I help you?
Me:  Yeh ah, I need a windshield.
Fragile:  Let me get some information and I will help you with that.

With my opening statement, I gave her everything I need to get a price and availability on a windshield so she needs to use her opposable thumb and punch in the data and give me a quote.  but Nada.

Fragile:  Sir, what is your zip code?

I am thinking of all the questions she might ask me (penis size, do I have a dog?) and zip code was not one of them.  Since this is a complete bullshit question, I always answer 99898 to the zip code question.  This is the zip code for Rat Island in the Alaskan Archipelago, about 1000 miles west of Anchorage.

Fragile:  Thank you sir!   Now, how can I help you.  Did you say you need glass for your automobile or trailer? We have a full line of glass for cars, trucks and trailers.

Me:  Windshield for a Honda CRV, 1998. 

I tried mixing up the information.  Maybe if she hears it in a different order, her marbles will fall into the holes. 

Fragile:  Ok, just a few more questions? (Remember she has asked me how she can help me twice already.  I am beginning to think she cannot.)  Is this the front windshield?
No, it is the one up your ass.  Three days later I am still thinking about this question.  I never thought of any other glass on the car being a windshield unless I am someone who drives backwards all the time.
Me:  Yes!!
Fragile:  OK, is this an insurance claim?
Me:  No!
Fragile:  So, you are going to pay for it yourself? 

I hope  that was a rhetorical question because I only have a few answers left to give before I hang up so I did not answer. 

Fragile:  Ok, thank you!  What is the year and model of the car, truck or trailer?
Me:  1998 Honda, CRV it is green with dents all over it and a crack in the windshield.
Fragile:   Oh, that is too bad, is the crack larger than six inches?
Me:  Oh Yes. (about the size of the one in your head)
Fragile:  What is you name and insurance company?

Now, for the most irritation question I ever get from anyone!
Fragile:  Would you prefer to be called Matt or Matthew?

You can call me Candy Ass Libby if you will just give me a freakin price.

Fragile:  Ok, the computer is a little slow today, please be patient.  Ok here it comes.  (Now remember I called the Cocoa, Fl.  phone number)  Oh, I see you are in Alaska, our nearest associate is in Nome, Alaska.  That is 1186 miles from your location.  They can do it on Monday morning.  Would you like me to make you an appointment?
Me:  I do not think I can make it Monday.  (There are no bridges or cars on Rat Island)
Fragile:  Well, for $39.95 additional charge we can fix it at your home.

I was so tempted to say Ok and let that order go through but I did not.
Me:  Ok, so how much will it cost for a windshield for a 1998 Honda CRV?  (fourth time I asked this question)
Let me see what the computer says, OK, that will be $229 and 73 cents, tax will be extra.  Did you know a front windshield is part of the overall safety plan for your car?(rhetorical I hope)
Me:  I do not have $229.73 so I will have to wait a paycheck or two. 
Well, sir, I will keep this in computer and when you call back, ask for discounts and they price may be lower.
Me:  Thank you!

I may be driving around with the cracked windshield for a little while longer.

Friday Science: Global Warming/Climate Change

There has been four or five articles that are rearing the ugly head of global warming.  The Fascist Right thought they had killed this Levampian Smurf.  The Liberal Way Outs even thought it was useless to talk about because they changed the name to Climate Change.  One can be pretty sure the weather will not stay the same so "change" is a good vague name to use.  (Do not go running to your American Collegiate Standard dictionary for the word Levampian, it is not in there.   I made it up.  There is a similar word somewhere but I could not think of it at the time of this writing.  The context is correct.  Also, the dictionary is still an extremely cool book to read.)

The interesting points in the articles were not just that the temperatures are getting warmer but that some of the indicators associated with the phenomenon are verifying the data.  Giant iceberg calving processes, huge ozone-less hole getting bigger over the Arctic, and Micheal Jackson, Siegfried and Roy, Jonny Bravo and Lady Gaga all have the exact same hair.  

Still, with all the posturing and the sticking of the head and obviously the butt in the sand, the big question is "what if anything can be done about it?  Can we reverse the trend toward warming, increase its progress, change the way we do things.  Probably all of the three. 

Here is what we can do without much effort and if many people did these simple things we could save the planet at least in our grandchildren's time here on Earth.

Stop buying plastic as much as possible.  That includes plastic packaging.  Plastics have made oil companies rich.  They have not improved our lives at all.  Well, maybe disposable diapers to some degree.

When the recyclers start mining the landfill dumps for metals and plastics, they will unleash a torrent of microbes that will make the world literally sick. So that is the second thing we can do for Climate change.   Personal recycling.  Do not let someone else recycle your waste.  Do it yourself.

The third thing is to teach your grandchildren to not procreate.  The planet will be dying by then and there will be no reason or ability to have a good life.

Children

What is the hardest topic to talk about with your teenager

Sex
Drugs
Money
Relationships
Their impending death

I find most subjects fairly easy to talk to kids about.  One of the reasons for the ease is because they are not listening anyway.  I can drift off the subject and not even be accurate and they do not care.  They are in a different plane of existence.   You have to talk straight with children these days.  After about three years of age, adults are in damage control with kids.  Today's children have seen more sex,violence and stupidity than I will ever see.  I say what I think and off they go and I have done my job.  I love them and show them the truth.

My granddaughter asked me why I was so mean to her.  I said.  You do not listen to your parents or have any respect for them evidenced by the way you ignore their wishes and the way you constantly do things that are not good for you. You think you are being smarter than them but really all you are doing is turning into a mean spirited, manipulative bitch.  These characterstics will give you years of misery, loneliness and heartache.  I do not trust you as far as I can fling you so I have to watch you all the time.  I try to give you guidance  (she is really no longer listening so I have to finish quick) and some structure, that may save you some pain in the future.

She is eight going on thirteen. 

I remember one of my kids (high school) did something stupid and they were at the house and it was about two o'clock in the morning.  They were upset and I got out of bed and went and sat with them on the couch.  This child wanted to know why trouble seemed to follow every action.  "Because you are a dumb ass".  Now I had her attention.  I said, "Look, your mom and I love you and are here to help you but if you insist on getting involved in things you know nothing about and with people you know nothing about, you are going to need some help.  Despite what you learned in that pit of hell we called the Jr. High, we are not here to keep you from having fun.  It is obvious we cannot keep you from doing anything so if you would like to discuss some things before you do them, we may be able to avert some bad consequences".I know she remembers the conversation and that is about all I can do.

Now before you start thinking I am some kind of super dad I must let you in on a secret.  I have not freaking idea what I am doing.  I have made way more mistakes than good choices concerning the children.  I think good moves have more power so maybe I am not too far behind.  My new method is called "Whatever".  That was a popular phrase for teenagers about ten years ago.  They wanted us to believe "whatever" but now I mean "Whatever".  My son says "Da, can you get me some milk?"  I say, "whatever".  I may or may not get him some milk but usually in a few minutes I hear him ask his mom, "Mom, can you get me some milk?"  The point is, last time I checked he had both arms, legs and hands and none of them were incapacitated so he can get his own damn milk.  At night I say to him, "Ten more minutes then the TV is off, OK?".  He looks at me with his bad eye and says, "Ten minutes".  I say "Whatever".  See, it works for all occasions.

I do not have much tolerance left for cranky, rude children.  That is because I am cranky and rude and they are stealing from my game.

The Constitution: Final Thoughts

This is the last episode of the Constitution articles.  I found myself dreaming about the writers and what a huge exciting deal they were involved in.  I was involved in the Shuttle Science program in the beginning and looking back it was very busy and exciting.  Here are some observations about the Constitution. 

The State of Florida never seems to ratify Constitutional amendments.  Out of the 27 amendments, Florida only ratified nineteen of them.  The ratification process only requires a 3/4 majority for passage so I guess by the time it gets to Florida's turn to vote, the amendment has a majority so they just blow it off.  Still, lets finish the damn ratification process guys.  I think States should be called out when they do not ratify.  How can we expect anyone to participate if the State Legislature does not.

Most amendments are simple and quickly ratified except the one's concerning congress's rights.  Most amendments are initiated by the voice of the people.  The issues are usually singular and straight forward.  Sometimes they are too simple and need a big fat "DUH" sticker placed on the top of the document.  Most amendments take about a year to proceed from "proposed" to "Ratification".

I may never vote again and Rhode Island is still an odd name for a state. 


The Bill of Rights were the first set of amendments and these issues were all "leftover" items that were not dealt with in the original Constitution.  The Founding Fathers knew they had to get a completed and signed Constitution for the country so they agreed to differ some issues to the Bill of Rights.  The Reconstruction amendments were the second set of amendments and those were used to settle some issues resulting from the Civil War and the emancipation of the negros. 
The remaining six or seven amendments were not worth going to war over type issues, but almost.  Lawyers started to realize they could make some money slamming the Supreme Court and by challenging policies that took 200 years to create.  Most of these remainder originated as legal challenges. 

The third set coming in a few years,will be trying to keep congress funded while the country is in anarchy.  I predict that congress will repeal the third(quartering), the fourth (search and seizure)and the eleventh (immunity shit) amendments so the congress persons can do whatever they want, anywhere they want and not have to pay for it because there will be no money in the treasury.  Congressman will be living in our houses while they are touring the country.

The two amendments that took the most time to ratify were dealing with restrictions to power for the congress. The 22nd (three years) deals with presidential  term limits and the 27th (200 years)  tackles a simple congressional pay issue.   NO SHIT.  Lets ask Russia and Venezuela how that no term limit thing is working.  If you want to take a slippery step backwards in human rights, do not limit the power of the politicians.  There are limits for a good reason.  I have a lawn mower that had a note on the oil cap, "Do not Overfill" like too much lubrication is a bad thing.  Spare the rod and spoil the child.  Too little control over horny, spoiled, smarmy, self-centered, legal minded, hoser political persons would be like sparing the rod or not using enough lubricant.  Trouble is the only thing that will take root on parched land.  Did you ever notice the shit that grows in your yard after a drought kills everything!

The rest of the Constitution is the nuts and bolts of how to run a government. I tried to read it all but I just could not get through it.  It is a cool document and my admiration goes to the founders of this document and country and my respect is higher than ever.  I am completely dishearten at this point by our state of affairs and I probably will not vote not because there are not issues but because there is no longer a point to support a system that does not work and is not fixable. 

Job was asked what he learned from all the misfortune he was subjected to and I think he said, "Never scratch a festering wound".  Exactly.  Just leave it alone.

It remains the same

I am listening to a NASA announcement about the new direction.  Boeing is there, Space Florida is there, partners are there.  Space Florida is a group of cronies composed of old retired NASA and retired contractors.  The exact people that let Skylab fall, Apollo end and the Space Shuttle program die.  They will kill the Space Station because there is no money in it for them. NO real money. 

I have been watching all the layoffs out here and you cannot find anyone with a salary of $100,000 or more being let go.  Many of these managers have changed seats and business cards but no real changes are occurring.  There is very little new blood or new ideas taking hold in this country.  All of the new jobs being created will give people jobs making 1/3 to a half as much as they were making previously.  The new buzz words are no longer "work  better and smarter", they are "work for less and be glad because we can find someone else to do it". 

I wonder if Purdue Chicken  will be able to replace the slave labor that the immigration laws are running off?  Will the service sector tax base be able to support the next bailout of the rich?

The clarity of the situation is too bright for my eyes.