I learned a long time ago that plumbers are worth every penny they charge. Not your construction grade plumber but the kind that come in your house and fix things under your sink. There is a good change no human has been under that sink since it was installed. Some animals, kids and insects can fit under there and get out safely. I would get stuck, drop the pipe wrench which should not be required these days square on my face, smash my knuckles and only make the leak worse and now a critical gusher with lots of water and a small amount of blood running out from under the sink. "Moses, stop the plague. I will bow to the God of Israel's Plumbing service."
Never hire a fat plumber. He man be quite experienced and know all the tricks except how to get his fat butt under that sink or behind the water heater without tearing up the drywall. How will a man who cannot touch his toes reach around a toilet and finagle a gnuter valve without lots of blood and slaming things around. When this big ole boy accidentally lights the cabinet on fire with the torch (to remove something that has degraded to the point of non-recognition) he will not be able to get up and put the fire out or even get out of the house. The headlines will read "Plumber's death in sink repair called an accident".
My plumber is skinny musician and probably nuts and he was in the gifted program in high school. I think his teacher was a pedophile and now he is a plumber and a musician. I called him the other day and he was either making a recording of a song or in the bathroom. Sometimes I get sounds confused. I asked him how much he would charge. "Oh, $150-$175 dollars". "I would pay $50 so I did not have to think about the plumbing any longer than necessary" I thought. I also called Honda Paul, a guy who fixes my hondas and he is a little off himself. The pattern here is that I must have a few bats in the belfry also because all of my business acquaintances are certifiably insane but do good work when the medication is on track. Honda Paul does not do plumbing or answer the phone. He reads messages and calls people back.
One problem with plumbers now is their age. These young plumbers wear these big pants and even if they are skinny there is the plumber's crack. I am kind of a prude about things like that. "Pull them pants up, I am not paying you to show me your crack". Wen I was a young man, I would never have used that line. Every time he put his hand in his pocket, his pants fell down. I knew a girl plumber once. Her name was Barbara Sneff. The guys called her "Babs the Pipe Bender". She called the male carpenters "hammer knockers". They called me the Mud Doctor because I was a drywall maniac and I was going to college. We were all young then but at least our pants fit well.
I will most likely give my plumber a tip for getting on this project quickly. I like that. The other guy I called said he would fit me in and I have not heard from him in about a year. I like people who have some concept of time. I cannot stand to see people drive up in a car and sit in it for ten or twelve minutes just fiddle f****ing around. Either get out of the car or get out of my driveway. Get what you need out of the cabinet and/or get the hell out of the way. I do not want the freaking receipt at Wally World so finish the transaction and fix the paper/ink ribbon later. My plumber thinks this will be a "Simple In Out procedure" . I think there will be some wailing and gnashing of teeth along with wall cutting, fire will be required and a lot of "What the f**** was someone doing this for?" Regardless, the most wonderful wife unit will pay him well and I will be safe in the knowledge water will not damage my house until the hurricane season. My plumber is also a carpenter.
Enough.
Never hire a fat plumber. He man be quite experienced and know all the tricks except how to get his fat butt under that sink or behind the water heater without tearing up the drywall. How will a man who cannot touch his toes reach around a toilet and finagle a gnuter valve without lots of blood and slaming things around. When this big ole boy accidentally lights the cabinet on fire with the torch (to remove something that has degraded to the point of non-recognition) he will not be able to get up and put the fire out or even get out of the house. The headlines will read "Plumber's death in sink repair called an accident".
My plumber is skinny musician and probably nuts and he was in the gifted program in high school. I think his teacher was a pedophile and now he is a plumber and a musician. I called him the other day and he was either making a recording of a song or in the bathroom. Sometimes I get sounds confused. I asked him how much he would charge. "Oh, $150-$175 dollars". "I would pay $50 so I did not have to think about the plumbing any longer than necessary" I thought. I also called Honda Paul, a guy who fixes my hondas and he is a little off himself. The pattern here is that I must have a few bats in the belfry also because all of my business acquaintances are certifiably insane but do good work when the medication is on track. Honda Paul does not do plumbing or answer the phone. He reads messages and calls people back.
One problem with plumbers now is their age. These young plumbers wear these big pants and even if they are skinny there is the plumber's crack. I am kind of a prude about things like that. "Pull them pants up, I am not paying you to show me your crack". Wen I was a young man, I would never have used that line. Every time he put his hand in his pocket, his pants fell down. I knew a girl plumber once. Her name was Barbara Sneff. The guys called her "Babs the Pipe Bender". She called the male carpenters "hammer knockers". They called me the Mud Doctor because I was a drywall maniac and I was going to college. We were all young then but at least our pants fit well.
I will most likely give my plumber a tip for getting on this project quickly. I like that. The other guy I called said he would fit me in and I have not heard from him in about a year. I like people who have some concept of time. I cannot stand to see people drive up in a car and sit in it for ten or twelve minutes just fiddle f****ing around. Either get out of the car or get out of my driveway. Get what you need out of the cabinet and/or get the hell out of the way. I do not want the freaking receipt at Wally World so finish the transaction and fix the paper/ink ribbon later. My plumber thinks this will be a "Simple In Out procedure" . I think there will be some wailing and gnashing of teeth along with wall cutting, fire will be required and a lot of "What the f**** was someone doing this for?" Regardless, the most wonderful wife unit will pay him well and I will be safe in the knowledge water will not damage my house until the hurricane season. My plumber is also a carpenter.
Enough.
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