Grocery List

I have a grocery list on my IPhone6.  This is the list I have created over about three weeks.  I keep adding to it and never delete anything.  It is a representation of what is required in my household.  Some of these items I never purchase or receive but I keep them on the list.  I am cheap and frugal but mostly cheap so my family instructs me on the exact nature of their needs are for food.  I tend to pick the cheapest in many cases and they explain at the meeting "that will not do".

Pizza  --  This can be frozen or fresh made.
cat food  --  Various types.
nibbles  --  Whatever I think the humans and/or animals will like as a snack.
corn  --  Any type but usually includes cream style and frozen.
Peas --  Same as corn.
blowjob  --  I do not expect to get this at the store or anywhere else.
Ibuprofen 
Seltzer water  --  Any flavor, no sugar.
Mixed fruit, canned  --  Mostly for Jeffery the pig.
Garbage bags
Bananas  --  There is nothing better than a solid, slightly ripe, stiff banana in the morning.
Coffee cream  --  Specific type.
Bug spray  --  For prevention of various mosquito borne diseases for humans and Jeffery the pig.
Chips
Sausage --  I like mild Italian style.  My family thinks it tastes funny.
Breakfast sausage  --  No it is not a duplicate, silly me.  It has to be fully cooked and processed pseudo sausage.  If not my family says it tastes funny.
Dog food  --  Purina One puppy.  We do not have a puppy.
Pig food  --  Mostly a catch all for breakfast oatmeal or anything like that on sale.
Ice cream
Donuts --  mostly powdered sugar cake donuts.
Potatoes
Milk --   Cow and Almond because we can.
Chips
Tomatoes
Lettuce
Ham  --  I like the Black Forest type.  It brings back memories of carnage and barbarism while I tear into the packaging.
Chicken  --  This is cheap ass perpetually frozen chicken thighs that are boiled and given to the dogs.  It is cheaper than any dog snack. 
Cheese --  I want to be a cheese maker.
Meatballs  --  I have found a brand that with a little help are as good as they need to be.
Sugar  --  A fine symbol of capitalism that is holding its own in the every changing diet world.  With modified corn syrup  losing sway with the "civilized world", sugar is making a comeback.
Tea  --  This is for ice tea with sugar in it.
Butter  --  Also making a comeback in the civilized world.
Candy  --  Kit Kat and Starburst
Bread  --  Special, more expensive bread that will take longer to go bad because although someone wanted it, sandwiches are so not interesting.
Pasta  --  Now the trend has shifted from egg noodles to Ditalini.  I do not guess I should tell them it means "little fingers".
Soup  --  This is a hot button of resentment.  It has to be beef consume for the ditalini.  Beef broth will not due even though beef broth is half the price.  Any other soup must be approved by my son and wife to meet the strict requirements at the bi-weekly "You are a lousy shopper meeting".  "It must be something they want to eat at the given time they think they want soup".  It is really very simple.  I will fail.
Salami  --  It must be "hard" salami.  I grew up in Florida in the 60's.  I figured there was on type of salami, one type of milk, and one type of hurricanes.  I guess it is like the banana.
Fabric softener  --  The most expensive kind please.  I tried to explain that "please" does not help.
Suffering  --  I do not pay to receive this but it must jump in the basket because as soon as I get back from the store I start suffering.  Misery lives under my house and come out when Suffering needs help.
Spaghetti  --  Silly me, I again thought there were only three types of pasta, spaghetti, macaroni and the big round stuff.
Cocoanut Milk
Syrup
Cilantro 
Shampoo  --  Do not get me going again.
Soap
Fix-a-flat --  What a great invention.
Tennis balls
Goat milk  --  For when Jeffery was a baby.

Delusions and goals

"A well-formed delusion can go a long way to aid in achieving your goals."  Who said that.  I did but I probably read something like it somewhere, sometime.

It got me thinking though.  I know a lady that told herself constantly that she would become a veterinarian some day.  She was a bit of an air head and we all have dreams and I said to myself, "Good for you lady with the nice butt".  She is now a veterinarian and I am doing the same thing I was doing back when she visioned her dreams.  Not that I am complaining about how many of my dreams were not realized yet.  I can only blame myself.

I know that in my past, any goal desired in which I drove my heart and soul toward was achieved and with quite nice results.  There have been far too few goals that I went after with the kind of zeal that was needed to succeed.  I have acquaintances that still just seem to fall into shit and come out smelling like a rose.  I cannot believe it is intelligence that get them through it mainly because they do not have much.  It takes very little effort to make a wrong turn and falling down a rabbit hole is usually fatal.

My perception of the entire issue must be the problem.  That is where delusion comes in.  Maybe my delusions are just not framed correctly.  Maybe they believe their delusions more deeply than I believe mine.  I can be quit the skeptic and naive.  I would be a good politician.  I know a guy that can get a job doing anything from the highly technical to the mundane.  His job mowing the highway lead him to being in charge of a major labor contract for a government agency.  He was arrogant and a giant tool.  His delusion was that he was something special and he could convince everyone of it.

Some goals are never verbalized and can still be realized.  Things like raising decent children or being a person to be respected are never really talked about but in the end seem very important.  I cannot imagine anyone not having dreams of a better life for their kids when they are born.  I know the sidetracks life takes while trying to raise brainless crumb-snatchers and at times it too much to take for all people.   This again is where the delusion comes in.  I was expected to be a college graduate and a decent person.  It was my parent's dream that they somehow placed in my brain and made it my dream.

What is the difference between a dream and a delusion?  The difference is just a nuance.  Society will determine which it is in the long term.

Status on Jeffery

In case you are new to this blog, Jeffery is a pig.  He is four months old and has been living quite happily in my house since we obtained him from a hunter.  What is most interesting about that day was that when I sent the initial photo to my wife she said "I have to have him".  As with most things with my wife, children, couches, husbands and pets soon obtain the title of "dirt generating pains in the ass".  

Jeffery is all pig.  His skin is a magnet for dirt.  He has no discernible figure or body shape aside from a torpedo and he acts like one.  His neck is fatter than his butt.  His nose is this truly remarkably soft dirt modulating jackhammer.  He has the sweetest eyes and squeaks when you scratch him under his arm.   He thinks he is a dog which is sad because my dogs think they are humans so I am not sure what they are teaching him.  He chases the balls when we throw them, he first runs toward a barking dog and then runs away scurrying under the porch and stick his nose out the steps.

The other day, Jeffery and Pumpernik, one of our dogs with a broken leg went adventuring out in the swamp.  They were gone about an hour and I figured one or both of them were eaten by an alligator or a python but Pumpernik came slogging though the ditch covered in mud and dehydrated.  I tried to clean him up before my wife saw him but he darted upstairs to jump on the bed and show mom how much fun he had in the swamp.  Jeffery came strolling in about ten minutes later.  I scolded him and told him to stay in the yard while making him get in his wading pool to cool off.  It was his first adventure into the wild and it was wild.  I knew their adventure was over and mine was beginning when my wife started screaming about the dirt.