New Pig

Pumpernick

Jeffery

I recently became the owner of  a very young pig.  We named him Jeffery.  The meaning of the americanized word "pig" is becoming clearer all the time.  He is a swine but he is also a pig.  He eats like a, well, he eats like a pig.  He is growing very fast.  He eats like I remember eating when I was young.  The faster I ate, the chances are the more I would get.  He eats every bowl of food like he has not had anything to eat for weeks or even hours but he eats like there is twelve other pigs trying to steal his food.  I made the mistake of dropping some grapes on the floor and the dogs and Jeffery started  fighting over a grape.  The dogs do not even like grapes.  Pumpernick likes to hold them in his mouth only to take them in the other room and spit them out.  Fudge just sniffs them.  Jeffery smashes them with his nose and then eats them.  To a pig, food tastes better after is is smashed with its nose.  It reminds me of John Belushi in Animal House with the jello stuff. 

Yesterday, Jeffery became a barrow, a pig with no testicles.  He was very well behaved at the veterinary office.  Which is surprising because is you just want to snuggle him, he throws a fit and spit.  Anyway, he is walking kind of slow and careful today.  It is hoped that with less testosterone he will not exhibit some of the less desirable secondary sex characteristics like stinking up the place, aggressive behavior toward everything, gouging things with the fangs and wandering lust.  We had a wild pig a few years ago, Mr. Piggles, and all he wanted to do was eat and have sex with the black lawn tractor.  I looked out the window and saw my wife standing on top of the fence rail with Mr. Piggles doing his best to "jump" up and get her.  That same day, he went on a walk with me, my pistol and a shovel.  It was a like a long walk off a short pier.
Jeffery loves sleeping in the house and playing with Pumpernick.  He likes sleeping next to my chair while I am watching Andy Griffith reruns.  He likes cheese and chicken vienna sausages.  So do I.  I do not like cheese inside of hotdogs though.  I have never seen cheese act like that anyway.  
 ps.  I have no idea why the pictures are sideways and I do not know how to fix it. Jeffery is 21 pounds and maybe twelve  weeks old.  "That'll do pig".