The Profiler

Everyone profiles.  The advertisers do it.  The police do it.  The government does it.  I do it.  I assume you do it.  According to the TV, profiling is done to catch criminals by the FBI.  White, black, Asian or Latin, we all  make an assumption of a person's intent or lifestyle based on cues.  Some cues are more accurate than others.  One of the cues I use to profile people is if they are riding a bicycle.

Every time I see someone on a bicycle, I automatically decide what kind of person they are.  I decide whether they are dangerous, hard working, religious or just plain nuts.   I have found the bicycle to be quite enlightening.

For instance, if I see young white adult male on a bicycle, I assume he is a crack or meth head.  I know he does not have a job and he no longer lives with his mother.  If he did he would be driving her car.  If the person on the bike is a young black male, he stole it.  He does live with his mom but she will not let him use the car for his mischief.  (under the penalty of a good beating)

Profiling chart of people on a bicycle

Ethnicity	Young	Middle age	Old
White male White female	Crack head, meth head Kicked out.  Living with middle aged man.  They share a bicycle.	Has young girl friend. Drunkard, going to Walmart for beer.	Drunkard, homeless. Bat shit crazy.
Black male Black Female	Stole it. Dental hygienist heading for child care.	Still trying to be white. Looking for her cheating man, armed with a cell phone and  photos.	Lives in trailer near bus station.  Late for church, armed with revolver and a Bible.
Asian male Asian Female	Going to work. Going to work.	Going to store for pork Going to store for rice.	Looking for his wife  I have never seen an old Asian lady on a bike!
Latin Male Latin Female	Gang member.  Looking for work Nurses Assistant looking for boyfriend in gang.	Going to construction job. Going to house maid job.	Nuts, carrying a machete Once again, this does not happen.

 
Profiles not included in the chart.

If you see two young males biking together, there is a better change than none they are sweet on each other.  If you see a biker, male or female, any age wearing a speedo, double knit kind of thing that glamorizing the private parts, all bets are off for what they are up to.  Speedos confuse me.   If the bike spokes have a playing card held in place with a cloths pin, they are filming a Leave it to Beaver episode on the Hallmark channel.  If you see someone walking along side a bike, stop and help them.  They are obviously having a bad time of it and could use some kindness, water or a lift. 

I am not proud of my profiling tendencies.  I fight it every day but it does makes me laugh sometimes.  Be aware, and the chart supports my suspicions on this, "old people on bicycles are a dangerous situation."  Quietly move in the opposite direction until out of the danger zone.  Middle aged people on bicycles can be quite a hoot and young people are just trying to get through the day.

I am shocked when I catch myself judging someone in a bad way.  I do not do it as much as I used to.  I am not there yet but I am better than I was.

Surfing

Surfing was, is and will be one of the great activities that just about anyone can participate.  I was eight or nine when I rode my first wave.  It was on a big telephone pole that was floating in the ocean waves.  I would sit on that log and a wave would bump the thing on a short run.  Mostly we just body surfed the waves tumbling, eating dirt and salt water while laughing all the time.  It was impossible to keep my lips tightly sealed so water would not go down the pie hole because riding the waves was so much fun I would have a wide grin.  The waves would roll me over and smash into the bottom of the ocean shooting water up my nose.  I would come up for air shorting and gasping while waiting for the next near death experience. 

An actual surf board introduced me to an entirely new game.  I now had to use my arms and most all of my muscles to find, catch and ride these waves.  I guess that is why they call it a sport.  It is not like synchronized swimming except for the water up the nose.  Those  swimmers use nose clips to keep the water out our the brain cavity.  I do not think it worked.  A nose clip is for the foolish and weak.

In most places on the ocean, you cannot just find a wave by calling out, "Hey you, come over here, I want to ride you."  That approach does not work in a bar and it does not work at the beach.  A "surfer" must search, paddle and wait for a wave.  I remember the first time I saw the older surf dogs  all of a sudden start paddling out to sea through the waves.  I was pretty sure they were going the wrong way.  Suddenly, what I thought was a big wave came up and they disappeared under it.  They were gone, eaten by the sea. I was thinking surfing was a little bit to risky if a wave could swallow a big dude and a hunk of fiberglass in the blink of an eye.  Wait, I could see them out past all the waves bobbing up and down between the swells of water.  The dudes started paddling like scalded ducks as a huge swell grew overhead.  "Death would be swift" I thought but the guys jumped up on the boards and started shooting down the face of the swell.  The wave started crashing to the left of them as they cut to the right.  At about that time, the wave hit me and knocked my board all the way into shore.

 I grabbed the board and headed back out through the waves.  I was paddling for what seemed like an hour because every time a wave hit me, it knocked me halfway back into the shore.  I would paddle like crazy between the wave hits.  Eventually I got out to where the real surfers were.  I was so embarrassed when some guy yelled, " hey punk, stay out of the way."  Stay out of the way, I do not even know where I am or which direction  I am going.  I am just trying not to die at sea.  Between the swells I watched the surfers catch wave after wave.  I was enjoying the view when I figured I should try to actually catch a wave. My friend Bobby was going to ask me about this day and I wanted to at least have a half ass story to tell him.   I saw a swell building up that the other surfers were ignoring so I spun the board around and started flailing like like a water spaniel.  I could feel the swell climbing up behind me.  I jumped to my feet hopefully looking like I knew what I was doing.  The wave was cresting while me and this board shot down the face of the wave with truly remarkable speed.  I was surfing, I was a surfer.  What I was not doing was breathing  and started looking for the brake.   All things must come to an end.  As I headed with break neck speed into the bottom of the swell, the wave crashed down on my head.  I had Atlantic ocean gravel ground into my face and my board was once again on the beach.

Completely out of breath, I swam in and grabbed my board in the shallow surf.   I heard a girl my age in a bikini say., "Hey you, come over here, will you teach me how to ride."  I thought to myself, it really is not the destination that is important, it is all about the ride.

Pollution

The word pollution is hardly used any more.  It has been replaced by more descriptive or more specific words for types of pollution.  Words like green, carcinogen, litter, oil slick, smog, hazardous waste, residue and many others are synonyms that can be used for the word pollution.

My first problem with this word is that I do not like the spelling.  Most words with a long vowel sound are not followed by two consonants.  If so the word followed would sound like foe-lowed.  Pollutions should be pronounced pow-lution with a short "o" sound and one "l".  I know what you are thinking but it does matter so just keep it to yourself.  (See; listen to the short sound of the "a" in matter)  Office is another one the creams my corn.  Based on the spelling, it should sound like  owfice.

I suppose the first pollution was too many herd aminals relieving themselves too close together on some prairie of long past history.  Once humans started communicating and practicing monogamy there was noise pollution.  Smoke in the caves created air pollution and throwing all the garbage in the creek cause water pollution.  Benjamin Franklin designed the first garbage collection in Philadelphia to get rid of the smell and the rats.  The Roman Empire built elaborate sewage removal  systems to remove the human waste from the cities but they then let it pile up in the river and pollute some other principality.  Recently, in China, pig farmers who had pigs die of pollution just dumped one hundred thousand of  them in the river.  

I remember my parents saying that living trashy and littering all over the place was caused by poor upbringing.  Another person told me it was most likely "a low IQ".  Pollution is organized trashiness and littering on a large scale.  Most people know not to relieve themselves where they eat and sleep.  Horse understand this rule and they have a VERY small brain with two impulses only.  When a piece of paper blow past an equine animal, a horse can stay still or it can jump out of its skin.  That are its only responses.  Cats and dogs can be house broken.  Birds I am not too sure about.  I am going with the low IQ theory for causes of human pollution.  Group mentality or more accurately called  government ass holes.  Wait, I got off track.  Group mentality or corporate thinking  lowers the IQ of the entire gathering and allows companies to dump dangerous waste in the oceans or to burn coal until people in the city cannot breath.  Smart people that do this on purpose are criminals and should be eliminated from the gene pool with great prejudice. 

There is money to be made from any waste product so there is no reason for it to be dumped in the environment.  We just have to educate the corporate and political leader and raise their IQ.   I say this only to make the leaders feel better.  They are just criminals and sociopaths and they do not care about anyone else.  They do no realize that the pollution bell tolls for them and when the acid rain corrodes the supports for that bell it will fall an hit them on the head.  It is possible.  Regardless of what you call pollution, we have to deal with it eventually.  Our current society should not pollute some other or future society just because we think we can.  That is low IQ at its finest.